by Loving One Another Indeed…
“In my 65 years of living in this world, I have never seen anyone who was loved because of their money, because of their position or title in any corporation or in politics, or because of their skill. Nobody loves you for that. People may respect you, people may enjoy according to what they get out of it. And most of the time, people are envious. But when we are compassionate, when we have values, when we have learned how to love others, people love us.” -His Holiness, Radhanath Swami.
I cannot agree less with Guru Swami because, when you have money, and I am not necessarily referring to multi-millions only; when you can meet your needs and are still generous with the spare, many people around you will love you. But when people love you because you have money, when that money is not available again, they will stop loving you. Even if the money is available and you cease to dispense it or that favor they get from you, notice that they will stop greeting or visiting you. They may not turn around to hate you. But they will move on to ‘love’ the next person that has money.
Fame: Many famous people have lapsed into depression, inordinate desires and substance abuse when new stars take their shine as they thin out of the limelight. As the love of fans shift to emerging stars, the exiting stars realize it was the klieg lights that made the stars and it was what was loved, not the stars.
Position: There is no position that anyone can hold sway forever. Not even a monarchy. That too is only for a lifetime, at most. Many who have left positions of influence are replete with experiences of how even their phones are no longer ringing after they exited their influential offices. The love you currently enjoy in that office is appropriated to the title you carry. It is essentially not for you.
Skill: Regardless of the acclaimed love of your fans for your skill, none will bet on you when you are gone past your prime. Whether you are a talented and skillful footballer, athlete, writer, or artist, people will always lay claims to loving you when your skill is still sending love to their homes and helping to win their bets. They will continue to cherish your exploits till the opposite happens. Once that occurs, their acclaimed love for you will move to the current skillful person, even as they continue to remember your exploits with nostalgia.
So until we translate from the norm to deploying these leverages, namely; money, fame, position, skill, in the pursuit of empathy and compassion towards one another and the world, genuine love will remain elusive. It is the primary reason why those who possess money, fame, position and talent, always resort to charitable causes. But empathy and compassion cannot be bought. They must emanate from a genuine state of mind. A compulsive desire to empathize with humanity.
As species, we have survived by being judgmental and suspicious of and preying on other species. We have weaponized money, fame, position and talent as some form of subtle controls. But we must develop the mental capacity to step past this most primal urge to attain love. It is by shutting down that animal instinct and forcing our brain to tow a different pathway, the pathway of kindness and compassion, that we can engender genuine love in return.
Yours sincerely,
Citizen Agba Jalingo.
