Think about this, I do not think that anyone is in doubt about the fact that everything uniformed in Nigeria, stands for extortion. In other words, all uniformed organizations in Nigeria that were created with the goal of serving Nigerians, are primarily extortionist and every day, any of their personnel go out to work, the primary goal on their minds is how much they will take back home that day and not the service they will render.
As far as their duty relates to interfacing with the public, from the armed forces to the unarmed forces, both Federal, State and Local, their first goal is how to extort from that section of the public they are supposed to serve. You must part with something, either willingly or by coercion, once your paths cross.
Let me give some examples, the Police will tell you bail is free, but that is the biggest lie in Nigeria. Prison warders will tell you that a visit to the prison is free, that is another gigantic perfidy. Military men moved out of their barracks into joint task forces and other operational duties to serve the public, whether on land or on water or at the air gate ways, will intimidate and extort from the public, vehicle inspection officers, road safety officials, forest guards, public transport management agencies personnel in uniforms, customs, immigration, are all in the booming business of extorting from the poor public.
For the non uniformed public services, beginning from the lowest cadre, if you visit a government office, the gateman will ask you for money to drive in. If you cannot pay, he or she will tell you the car park is filled and you need to look for somewhere else to park, while the person that can pay a bribe will be directed inside the park and squeezed into a space, even if the car park is filled.
The receptionist or front desk people will expect money from you before they will take your visitors form that you filled to the boss’s secretary on time. The Secretary will expect a tip before he/she will take it to the boss. In fact, some bosses will even ask how much you brought before they can take a look at whatever brought you.
There is no table in any government office today, where any document passes through that will not require some form of gratification to proceed to the next table. Practically none. It has been normalized. Even in the public complaints commission, you have to pay to lay your complaints.
Go to the LGA office to process anything, whether it is certificate of indigeneship or birth or death or marriage certificate, if you do not bribe the clerks, you can’t get anything done. Constitutional pardon and clemency for prisoners in jail by Governors and the President is now sold in slots.
Go to the legislative assemblies to solve any problem with the representatives you voted to represent you, you will need money to bribe their aides to even book an appointment. A senator once told us how even the elected lawmakers pay bribes to get their own bills scheduled for deliberations in plenary. Aides collect sums running into millions of Naira, to fix appointments with their bosses.
Go to the court registries to file a case, you will need to bribe clerks to take you seriously. Judgments in court cases are now reserved for the highest bidders. Appointments to the bench are now reserved for those who have money to pay. Go to court to process any document, be it affidavit or application for Certified True Copy CTC of any document or any other thing, you must pay some bribe to officials in court to get it done.
After getting approval from the boss, for your document to pass through the Chief of Staff to Budget to Due Process to Audit to the Accountant General, you must pay bribes across all those tables. Go to public hospitals for treatment, you need to pay the nurses and other administrative staff to get an appointment to see the doctor. Even in public mortuaries, the morticians will ask you for bribes to embalm the corpse of a loved one.
Employment in all public services at all levels in the country today have been monetized and normalized. You must pay money to get a slot. Public scholarships, State interventions and empowerment schemes have all been slotted for payments before you can benefit. Forms will be sold by the managers to extort from the public whether you benefit or not.
There is practically no single public service that you can get in Nigeria today without paying bribes in one form or the other; in cash or in kind. Every public service ID card today is automatically an instrument of extortion and not a commitment to service. Employees who are paid salaries to serve the public have all turned themselves to toll gates and toll tables and no one sees it as an anomaly anymore. We seem to have all acquiesced to the bribery culture and the attempt to question it is now seen as the abnormal behavior.
Matter-of-factly, if even half of the people who work in the public sector can go to work daily and do the work for which they are paid sincerely and return home without collecting bribes from the people they are supposed to serve, for six months only, there will be a significant and marked shift in the fortunes of this country.
This culture is not restricted to the public service alone. It is prevalent in every facet of our lives and society already. It has eaten so deep that the hope of reversing it is very slim and lean. It has become so normalized that, if you don’t do it, you are described as not being ‘sharp’ or smart. The definition of being smart in the country today is how adept you are at collecting bribes and cutting corners. They call it “work chop.” Na where you dey work, you go from chop.
Yet these folks are all Christians and Muslims who pontificate about morality and holiness. They pay their tithes and zakaat from these bribes and extortions. They give testimonies about their blessings which are proceeds of bribes and extortion. And more heartbreaking is the fact that, we all get into the celebratory mood when these proceeds are splashed on our faces.
So tell me how this country will make the much desired progress, when we all have our claws in the cookie jar…..
Yours sincerely,
Citizen Agba Jalingo.
Disclaimer: The opinion expressed in this article is strictly that of the author, Agba Jalingo, and does not represent Theluminenews, its agent or the organisation the author works for/with.
